Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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