She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
