that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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