So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
