That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
