its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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