You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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