are you still at the devil's house?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
