His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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