The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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