had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The adults are the big ones right?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
