using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize