Jerry, you need to find god
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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