Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
