He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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