Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
