He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
