Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
