the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
