he told me I talked like a deaf person
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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