He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
