I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
