if i can run in heels then i can drive
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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