I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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