At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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