Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I need to sanitize my soul.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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