Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize