Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
