I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
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How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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