I'm really into asian looking animals
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
