Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
