watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
