We won't sleep together?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
