he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
