what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
