evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
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just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
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The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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