my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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