So drunk its hurt
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
