i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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