what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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