ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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