She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
