Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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