Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
