Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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