Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
