i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
