And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
