is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
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