A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
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she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
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I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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