True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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