:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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