is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Boobs are out for the taking
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
