I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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