playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
