Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize