you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
