i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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