All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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